Dr. Marsteller Chapter 9
9
Interns
milled about behind the scenes of the set, stepping over snakes of extension
cords. Dr. Marsteller sat in a chair
while make up was applied to his face like a warrior mask and he considered
what he had to say. Remain confident but
not pompous. Try to speak in layman’s
terms. My attitude must be matter of
fact, he thought. Regardless of the
uncertainty of the project, I’m the authority on it. I must remember that the viewers expect me to
be the authority and any wavering will betray ineptitude. As long as I look like I know what I’m
talking about, people will believe me.
Because I make the rules. When
you get to the point that you answer to no one, you just need to remain calm and
cool so no one can knock you off your position.
A fellow researcher strolled into the
room, Dr. Robert Mueller, who was appearing on the program with him. Dr. Marsteller had little faith in Dr.
Mueller’s research, thought he was a bit of a showman and no one took him
seriously in the scientific community.
At the conferences, most of his colleagues would laugh and joke at Dr.
Mueller’s latest prevarications and his unabashed egotism. Whatever Dr. Marsteller said about him
privately over drinks to other researchers and attempting to be magnanimous, he
was on good terms with Dr. Mueller. When
told that Dr. Mueller would be appearing with him he wasn’t worried. Dr. Mueller was the network’s ‘scientific
correspondent’ and always appeared on television as a consultant during any new
development in research. Dr. Mueller
would preen and entertain until he was the center of attention. He was meant for the circus not science. And Dr. Marsteller was certain he would latch
onto the sensation his new research created and identify with it. And as Dr. Mueller spent more time looking in
a mirror than reading scientific papers, the latest scientific knowledge he was
privy to was whatever he studied in graduate school in the 70s. Like Dr. Marsteller, he hadn’t done actual
research for 30 years. But at least Dr.
Marsteller followed the scientific literature.
-Bob, how are you?
-Not bad Sylvester. Quite an interesting paper you just
published.
-Thanks, well, you get lucky once in a
while.
-Well, is this your first Science article
since that work you did back in the 60s?
-I believe it is.
-That damn closed community is hell to
break into anymore.
-Yep.
-They refuse to publish my latest
research. You have to have a goddamn
transgenic pig to get published in the damn thing anymore. The best research is being published
elsewhere. Have you read my new one in
the Croatian Journal of Gerontology?
-Not yet Bob.
-Well, if you get a chance, give it a
read; it will blow your doors off.
-I will.
He’s already pandering to me, thought Dr.
Marsteller. If there’s a spotlight on
the stage, he’ll jump in and say his lines, even if the lead actor is in the
middle of a soliloquy. The makeup artist
finished with him, and Dr. Marsteller stood up to walk to his dressing room.
-I’ll see you out there Bob.
-Yeah, let’s have a good show. Good luck Sylvester.
In his dressing room, Dr. Marsteller
attempted to think of a joke to say during the program. He figured some levity always helps the
common people relate to an egghead like himself. What was the name of the mouse in that
Stephen King book The Green Mile,
thought Dr. Marsteller. Mr.
Jingles. I’ll relate my mice to Mr.
Jingles. That should get a laugh out of
Colt Appleton.
Dr. Marsteller and Dr. Mueller sat at a
boomerang shaped table across from Colt Appleton, the anchor for the nightly
CNN news program, The Core with Colt Appleton.
He was going over the questions he wanted to ask, then looked up at them
and smiled like a man who just a found a 20 dollar bill in a parking lot.
-Hey Bob, good to see you again.
-Colt, how’s the kids?
-Not bad, actually, he said switching to
a supercilious smile like a cashier who stops you because you forgot your
change, the kids were playing make believe they were hosts of ‘The Core’ the
other night. My little boy Colt, Jr. was
asking hard hitting questions to Sarah, my daughter, he looked at Dr.
Marsteller to include him in the anecdote and he said, ‘Sarah, what possessed
you to murder the cat!’ It was
fantastic. There may be a future in it
for him. Of course, your kids probably
play scientist or something.
-Well, they are actual scientists now,
said Dr. Mueller proudly.
-Did someone kill your cat? asked Dr.
Marsteller.
-What?
-Well, he was interrogating your sister about
the murder of the cat, and I was wondering if it was dead.
-Actually, I never thought to ask. I’m pretty sure it’s alive Dr.
Marsteller. He shook his head and
laughed. Well, that’s the scientific inquiry
for you. He laughed again. Is the cat
dead? He laughed then stood up. Guys, I have to go over here for the start of
the program, they are making me stand to give the opening now, it’s supposed to
look more powerful and authoritative. He
shrugged his shoulders as an intern came by with a mirror and lightly touched
up Appleton’s hair. Appleton jutted out
his chin and clenched his jaw. The
muscles in his face looked solid as a wolf’s.
Those are some interesting genetics, thought Dr. Marsteller. Music started and a camera swooped in front
of his face as he stood with the erect posture of a 19th century orator or a
linebacker striking a pose after crushing the quarterback.
-Tonight on The Core, we are lucky enough
to have scientist Dr. Sylvester Marsteller who will discuss his groundbreaking
anti-aging research over the last ten years.
Dr. Marsteller will consider what his discovery means for the future of
humanity.
Dr. Marsteller watched a television
screen inset in the boomerang desk. He
could see what the viewers were seeing.
A researcher in a white lab coat was pipetting, looking in a microscope
and injecting a mouse. Then Colt
Appleton came back on the screen with a graphic above him that read, ‘Fountain
of Youth.’ Pyrotechnics more elaborate
than a 4th of July display exploded about the screen as it changed
from clip to clip.
-Also joining us will be regular
scientific contributor to the Core, Dr. Robert Mueller in a roundtable
discussion. Later, we’ll delve into the
private life of pop star sensation Tiana Hall.
Don’t change that dial, the Core will return in a just a few moments.
As the show cut to commercial, Colt
Appleton moved over to the desk while the director shouted comments and a clock
counted down. They didn’t say anything
to each other and thought about what they were going to say when the show
returned from commercial. Dr. Marsteller
felt the butterflies flitting in his stomach rise into his throat. He thought about the evolutionary reason for
butterflies. They must be a flight
mechanism. Someone must have done research
on this, he thought.
-We’re back with anti-aging researcher
Dr. Sylvester Marsteller and Core scientific correspondent Dr. Robert
Mueller. Dr. Marsteller, can you please
tell us about your recent discovery that has made such a splash in the scientific
community.
-About 10 years ago we overexpressed a
protein in mouse embryos that curbs a common process in aging, and much to our
astonishment, these mice have grown to maturity and remained that age since.
-And how long is the average life span for
a mouse.
-About two to three years.
-And they are still alive now.
-Yes.
-Do they seem like old mice?
-As a matter of fact, no. They look and act like young adults. We’re currently working on some cognitive
tests to ascertain whether these mice exhibit the level of functioning of
control mice.
-Do you think that this may be promising
to use on humans? It is incredible.
-Actually, I’ve heard the mice called Mr.
Jingles, like the movie the The Green Mile, but if you remember Tom Hanks’
character and Mr. Jingles looked older after many years. We suspect that a human being receiving this
treatment will remain the age he or she receives it. How old are you?
-Well, I’m 46, said Appleton blushing
like a middle-aged homemaker.
-If you received it today, our hypothesis
is that you would remain 46 until eternity.
-This is absolutely astounding. Dr. Mueller, what is the scientific
community’s take on this recent breakthrough?
-Well, Colt, everyone is very
excited. It is a major advance. A lot of research needs to be done of
course. I’m just mad I didn’t think of
it first. Haha. But Dr. Marsteller is a
noted researcher who has been at the foremost of the field since his work forty
years ago. And I have every confidence
that it could definitely lead to work in humans. The mice don’t lie, Colt.
-That they don’t. Dr. Marsteller, when do you expect this to be
first tried in humans?
-Well, first we have to do some more
tests and then we will submit for FDA approval.
-Put me down for the first experiment.
-I’ll consider it Colt. Hahaha.
-Hahahaha.
-Hahahaha.
Then Colt turned serious – his brow
furrowed and his head tilted to the side.
He resembled an agitated cat.
-I’m curious as to your thoughts on the
sustainability of the planet if we have people living forever. The world is already believed to be in a
population crisis, what will happen now?
Dr. Marsteller was taken back by the
question. He had so far avoided any
philosophical articles about his research and hadn’t considered this line of
thinking.
-That’s a great question, Colt. I want to caution people that many more
experiments need to be completed before this research is confirmed and people
will be receiving the treatments. If it
does get to that level, the people in power with the ability to answer these
questions must proceed with caution.
However, I have great faith in the ingenuity of humanity, and think our
discoveries in the future could help us overcome such obstacles, as we are entering
a new unprecedented phase in the history of science. An age where there may no longer be age.
-What type of discoveries are you talking
about? Space exploration and
colonization of other planets?
-That will be something to consider,
answered Dr. Marsteller, picking his words carefully. But I think even on this planet we can
sustain a growing population with the resources available to us as we continue
to develop new technologies.
-What about sterility? Some people are saying that if you choose to
live forever, a requirement should be sterility. And do you think a class system would
develop, between those that are living forever and those that aren’t? Especially if this therapy proves to be
pricey?
-I have to say that I’m not sure where I
stand on that at those ideas at the moment, but I look forward to the debate if
it ever reaches that point.
-Lastly, Dr. Marsteller, everyone wants
to know – will you receive the treatment?
-Haha.
Well, maybe if I was in my 20s or 30s, but I think I’ll let nature play
its course at this point.
-Sign me up! Chimed in Dr. Mueller again.
-Hahahahaha
-Hahahahaha
-Well, thank you for joining us Dr.
Marsteller; this has been an enlightening interview. Up next, the Dubai nuclear program, fact or
fiction – joining us will be former CIA agent Gerhard Underhill; and later, an
inside look at the life of Tiana Hall, her fast rise to fame from Green River,
Wyoming school girl to international pop sensation and what Harrison Ford had
to do with it. We’ll be back to the Core
after this.
This originally appeared in Dr. Marsteller