Dr. Marsteller Chapter 5
5
Two weeks
had passed when Dr. Marsteller was walking through the lab in the late
afternoon after a molecular biology class he guest taught, and he noticed
Alexandria was working on her old project again.
-What are
you doing?
-That idea
didn’t work.
-What do
you mean? Let me see your notebooks.
-It didn’t
work. The embryo was amorphous. It was just a growth and the cells didn’t
differentiate into other cells.
Dr.
Marsteller threw her notebook on the floor.
Then in a fit of rage, he shoved a chair, which knocked a container of
hydrochloric acid off the bench. It
smashed and everyone quickly shot out of their chairs and gave the acid on the
floor a wide berth. Johnson grabbed the bottle
of bleach under the sink and tossed it on the acid as Dr. Marsteller, knowing
the nature of the reaction screamed ‘No!’.
The smoking reaction and acrid smell filled the lab and the room had to
be evacuated to clean it up. Some drops
were noticeable on Dr. Marsteller’s pants where the bleach ate away the color
and left white splotches. While they
were outside, Johnson was worried he was going to be scolded while Dr.
Marsteller paced back and forth. He was
trying to think of a way to retry the experiment.
-Alexandria,
I want you to do the experiment over.
-Sylvester,
I tried it a few times. I’m telling you,
it doesn’t work.
-Maybe you
didn’t do the DNA recombination correctly.
-I think I
know if…
-Do it
again, goddamnit. And shut up.
She looked
at the other students who were watching behind Dr. Marsteller as Environmental Health
and Safety rushed into the building. Dr.
Marsteller’s face contorted as he stood toe to toe with Alexandria, trying to
keep his voice down but spitting on her when he hissed out his words while
trying to restrain his anger. None of
the students had seen him like this.
Johnson was the only one who was relieved.
When the
room was cleared, and they were allowed back in, Dr. Marsteller went into his
office and sat at his desk thinking about the possibilities. Mrs. Viscane was fooled two weeks before. She entered the lab animal room and examined
the mice, but they could have been hamsters for all she knew. However, she made a point to tell him she may
discontinue funding until the experiment was published. She said she wanted it out there as soon as
possible. Dr. Marsteller could see her
excitement. He knew she could taste the
vengeance she would have on everyone that doubted her. And he knew his stalling technique would work
for a while; but she was expecting a publication and the publication had to
come soon. He couldn’t publish a paper
of this magnitude with no hard data. The
graduate students would tip everyone off to the fact it was a lie. However, according to his plan, they wouldn’t
have known the experiments were occurring.
This project could have been ongoing all these years as far as the 1st
and 2nd year students were concerned. The only student who was beyond that was
Alexandria in her 5th year.
She obviously would have been privy to an experiment of this
magnitude. But she was also close to
receiving her PhD. And would she really
open her mouth at the risk of losing her PhD?
Probably not. Professor
Marsteller laughed. He laughed for the
first time in months. It was
hilarious. He could publish the paper
and hopefully Alexandria could get the experiment to work. The idea was as sound and tight as a
waterproof box. She just needs to apply
herself better.
As my
advisor in graduate school always said, it’s best to write your paper while
you’re doing your experiments, thought Dr. Marsteller. All good experiments should tell you
something of value no matter what the outcome.
If you write while you perform the experiments, you can complete the
introduction, methods and discussion; the only thing left to be added is the
results after the experiment yields its fruit.
Might as well give it whirl, thought Dr. Marsteller. He went back into the lab and asked
Alexandria for her notes on the experiment, then sat down in his office and
wrote the paper, describing the procedure that Alexandria used in detail. For fun, he made a few changes because some
techniques weren’t available 10 years before.
He wanted it to seem like it was done 10 years ago. He even fictionalized how many mice they used
and how the graduate students were assigned to take care of certain animals
while they were going through the PhD program- unaware as to the purpose of the
mice. He mentioned how many graduate
students went through the program while the experiment was going on.
Then, for
fun – he said to himself – he wrote the results as if they were
successful. He even created graphs and
charts. He put in a picture of a mouse
and called it ageless.
It was
devious and sickening. The paper was
perfect- almost too perfect for a scientific paper. But the idea of publishing this paper in Science or Nature was intoxicating to him.
He was giddy with excitement to relive those days decades ago when the
energy around his research flowed throughout the campus. He could feel it coming back to him like a
reluctant wave. And it was his idea- if
Alexandria could just get it to work. If
Alexandria did get something to work, he wondered if he should send it like it
happened ten years ago, like he had just written it down, like he had told Mrs.
Viscane. Why not? Mrs. Viscane believes it to be true and she’s
read just as much as the researchers in the field. Why would they be able to see a lie if she
couldn’t? Just because they have
‘Doctor’ in front of their name, it doesn’t make them somehow universally
knowledgeable.
According
to his theory, the mice would be immortal and he should jump on it right
away. If it worked with Alexandria’s
experiments, why wait 10 years to publish?
He could predict they would live forever. He knew he was going to lie either way
because he told Mrs. Viscane 10 year old mice existed. But it was lie or lose all the funding; and
his research was too important to lose funding.
It was better to lie. Because if
it turned out to work, he would have funding on top of success. If he didn’t lie, he would have no funding,
and therefore no research. If he lied
and it didn’t work, he might still get away with it. If he was caught and it worked, no one would
care. If he was caught and it didn’t
work…well, he couldn’t bear to think of that scenario. But what would they do? Throw him in jail? They couldn’t do that. I’ll only be ostracized. But I’ll know why I did it. As long as I know in my heart it wasn’t
devious. If it doesn’t work, I’m screwed
anyway, so what is the difference if I’m caught lying or not? Shit or get off the pot. Take a chance. You always regret the things you didn’t do;
you never regret the things you did.
Carpe Diem.
He sent it
to Science.
This originally appeared in Dr. Marsteller