Dr. Marsteller Chapter 11
11
For the
first time in 35 years Dr. Marsteller performed surgery on mice. He first attempted to transfect different
brain areas with the retrovirus – his anti-aging therapy. He took five mice and brought them back into
his office. He kept gold-plated surgical
instruments given to him upon his last promotion in his desk drawer. They were for show, but he was too
embarrassed to ask the graduate students if he could barrow theirs. These experiments must be completely
confidential, he reasoned. He didn’t
want anyone snooping around. If he did
everything in his office, he could lock the door and not be bothered.
He stole
some ketamine anesthesia from the graduate office and injected the mouse. After placing the mouse in a stereotaxic
device, he made a midline incision in the skin on the top of the head and
opened a small hole in the skull with a drill he took from home and performed
the operation. He recorded everything in
his notebook and then he sewed up the incision and put the mouse back in his
cage. He would evaluate it on a weekly
basis. He knew he was going off
protocol. But the Animal Care and Use
Committee could go to hell. If rats,
mice and pigeons were not covered under the Animal Welfare Act, why did
researchers have to observe specific guidelines? If some demonic kid could torture a mouse
without repercussion, why do I have to be concerned for the mouse’s feelings? He reasoned they wouldn’t do much to a
distinguished professor like himself if they found out. Why would they want to inhibit the most
exciting research in the country?
The
following week at Alexandria’s defense, the other committee members commented
on her nervousness and insisted she looked flustered and ill prepared. Dr. Marsteller defended her, and although a
couple members of the committee did not want her to pass, she was passed on Dr.
Marsteller’s good word. After all, this
was the man who just made one of the greatest scientific discoveries in
history. After the defense, he made a
couple phone calls to his colleagues at Yale and told them he had an
exceptional graduate student and if they would like, he could recommend her to
their labs as a prospective postdoctoral fellow. His colleagues would have been interested
before the recent media circus, but now they were incredibly excited. They would have a post-doc in their lab from
the great Dr. Marsteller. This would definitely
get Alexandria out of his hair. My grad
students may be wild animals, but if I keep them in a cage where I can watch
them, they’re harmless. In fact, maybe
they are tame, they’re already in a cage, and all you have to do is let them
eat out of your hand, he thought as he laughed.
He called
her in his office to tell him the news.
-I’m not
going.
-I don’t
think you realize what it means to have a Yale post-doc, and do you really want
to be around here with me, the man you claim is akin to Satan, he laughed.
-I
appreciate the effort, but if it’s just the same, I would like to cut all ties
with you. I don’t want any
recommendations from you. I was already
accepted for a job at a corporate lab in Canada. They were the only ones that accepted me
without me naming who my PhD advisor was.
I’m taking the job; I start in a month.
It’s in St. John’s in Newfoundland.
That should get me as far away from this as possible.
-You’re a
fool and an idiot but whatever pleases you pleases me.
Alexandria
scoffed, repressed her tears, gathered her dignity, and then left the office in
disgust. It was too much for her to
bear.
Dr.
Marsteller wiped his hands like a blackjack dealer. The mess was over and the only person with
full knowledge of the experiments was off to Canada. How great was that? At Yale, she would have been in my pocket,
but in Canada, she’s off the face of the earth.
What do I care if she wants to work for some company more evil than me?
It was time
to check his mice and see how they were coming along. He went into the office. They didn’t look good. They had all lost weight and were lying
sickly in the corner of their cages.
-DAMNIT!
Well, maybe
they will regain health after the initial shock wears off. Dr. Marsteller broke out in a sweat and sat
down in the corner of the room. Yes,
they will go through a bit of stress from the operation before they regain
health.
He went
back to his office and decided to take off on his vacation before checking them
again. He went home to see his wife and
son.
This originally appeared in Dr. Marsteller